At a time when topics like sexual assault are no laughing matter, one comedian still has some explaining to do.

Amy Schumer, who has long been known for her pro-feminist comedy, apparently has a few skeletons in her closet- including what may have been the sexual assault of a senior during her college years at Towson University in Maryland.

In her own monologue at the 2014 Ms. Foundation for Women Gloria Awards and Gala, Schumer claims she took advantage of “Matt,” a so-called “super senior” who called her up while “wasted.”

“One guy paid me some attention,” she began, “Matt. Matt was six feet tall, he looked like a grown-up von Trapp child, and he was five years older than me. What?! An older boy, paying attention to me? I must be okay. Uff. I made him laugh in our bio lab, and I could tell a couple times that we had a vibe. He was a super senior, which is a sexy way of saying ‘should have graduated, but needed an extra year.’ He barely spoke, which was perfect for all the projecting I had planned for him.”

One day, Matt called Schumer and invited her over to his place.

Upon arrival, Schumer realized that Matt was intoxicated.

“Finally, the door opens. It’s Matt, but not really,” she recounted. “He’s there, but not really. His face is kind of distorted, and his eyes seem like he can’t focus on me. He’s actually trying to see me from the side, like a shark. ‘Hey!’ he yells, too loud, and gives me a hug, too hard. He’s f**king wasted. I’m not the first person he thought of that morning. I’m the last person he called that night. I wonder, how many girls didn’t answer before he got to fat freshman me? Am I in his phone as Schumer?”

Despite seeing the signs, Schumer went ahead with sexual intercourse- something an inebriated Matt could not legally consent to.

“His fingers poked inside me like they had lost their keys in there. And then came the sex, and I use that word very loosely. His penis was so soft, it felt like one of those de-stress things that slips from your hand?”

However, this appeared to be lost on Schumer, who not only publicly told the story but decided it was something to discuss at a gala- at a time when the “Me Too” movement was starting to gain traction.

According to Towson University, “in order to give effective Consent, one must not be mentally or physical incapacitated (e.g., by alcohol or drugs, unconsciousness, mental disability).”

“Evaluating Incapacitation also requires an assessment of whether a Responding Party, or a sober, reasonable person in the Responding Party’s position, knew or should have known, that the Reporting
Party was Incapacitated.”

According to Thought Catalog, “Legally, it’s hard to argue that it wasn’t rape, at least given the details in Amy’s speech.”

“Had the roles been reversed, people’s reactions to the speech would have been wholly different.”

Vox media’s Vulture, an “entertainment-and-culture outlet of New York,” shockingly referred to her admission as a “powerful speech about confidence.”

During a later interview, Schumer also admitted to sexually assaulting an “immigrant cab driver.”

When she was 19 years old, she was riding in a cab with her incapacitated friend and decided to forcefully sexually assault the driver.

“He didn’t make the move, I took his hand and put it in,” she said.

“You victimized him basically,” an interviewer asked. “Yea, yea, when I tell the story I say I let a cab driver finger me but really I took his hand,” she replied.

It is unknown if Schumer, who has appeared in multiple films and comedy specials, has ever followed up on her encounter with Matt or the cab driver, or if she will accept accountability for perpetrating the type of crimes she has so often spoken up against in the public eye.

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