Movement to ban pointed kitchen knives gains momentum in the UK

Leaders within the Church of England have written an open letter demanding that the UK government ban pointed kitchen knives, claiming that pointed knives are antiquated relics that serve only to help criminals carry out violent attacks.

As knife crime continues to be a problem in the United Kingdom, the church is urging leaders to ban yet another item, in hopes that something else won’t take its place.

“The UK has worked for the public good by restricting handguns, paracetamol, smoking in public and plastic bags,” the letter said. “Now it is time to say ‘no bloody point.’”

The church argued that there is no longer a need for pointed knives of any sort, and that society has progressed past the need for such archaic and barbaric tools.

“Historically we needed a point on the end of our knife to pick up food because forks weren’t invented,” the letter continued. “Now we only need the point to open packets when we can’t be bothered to find the scissors.”

The letter -and subsequent conference to go with it- is an attack on knife ownership, and over 5,000 visitors to the related “Knife Angel” monument, which is composed of knives and made to spread awareness, have pledged to refrain from carrying a knife.

According to Premiere, many church officials have chosen knife crime as a position they wish to pursue until the bitter end, including the Bishop of Tonbridge, Simon Burton-Jones.

“Knife crime rips up the lives of families and friends, piercing the networks that give us life, meaning and support,” he said. “Knife crime can be reduced if we follow the evidence trail, devote our resources to the right places, share knowledge smartly and value the organising power of local communities.The Church has a role to play, for it is located in most, if not all, places.”

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